My 15-year-old daughter is leaving tomorrow for most of the summer, spent with her father, who lives in St. Louis. She’ll have beach vacations and 4th of July fireworks and long summer nights with her grandparents and cousins, a big Catholic family that included me and now doesn’t, and I’m fine, even if it stings, even if I miss her terribly. Even though it doesn’t seem fair to me that I have to carpool for the school year, homework, orthodontist appointments… and then I don’t have time to have fun in the summer.

But I don’t want to write about it.

My 84 year old dad crashed his car into a pole in the Rouses car park and I had to take his car keys away from him as he is not safe driving and now I am solely responsible for his care as he cannot not going to the grocery store or the pharmacy or the library and my brother and my sister are dead so I just have to deal with that. (Although my husband does more than his fair share out of love and marital obligation, I still wish there were other blood relatives to help with this new reality.)

But I don’t want to write about it.

I feel weird wearing a mask (no one else is!) and weird not wearing a mask (seems irresponsible with rates rising again!) and I don’t know how I’m supposed to exist in this current COVID world, where i am vaccinated and boosted but i don’t know if i need to be boosted again or if i should have my 10 year old daughter boosted even though she is vaccinated and had COVID in February and when do I have to stop testing every time I get a headache or a sneeze fit, and I never really liked crowds to begin with, so can I keep using COVID as an excuse to not going to things? Probably not, huh?

But I don’t want to write about it.

Instead, in honor of the Creole Tomato Festival this weekend, I leave you with my favorite summer recipe:

In a food processor, blend 4 coarsely chopped Creole tomatoes with two cloves of garlic, the juice and zest of a lemon and a generous amount of salt and olive oil. Toss with hot cooked pasta and top with grated fresh Parmesan and chopped basil. Serve with a glass of your favorite white wine or sparkling water.

Creole tomatoes, garlic, carbs, cheese and wine won’t solve my problems. Once I eat, my child will still be gone, my father will still be old and weak, and COVID will still be there to ruin everything.

But somehow, the world will get a little better anyway. And that’s all we can ask for most of the time.