Less expectations, less distress: is this the key to a happy life? | New times
Life has a way of being vague, you never know what’s coming. Of course, that doesn’t stop us from having expectations.
Expectations are a strong belief that something is going to happen. While you will be happy for a friend who was offered by the beach, at sunset, with a saxophonist playing jazz, it is not wise to expect the same in your own life. People are different. The experiences are different.
If the person you’re dating hasn’t talked about the future with you, try not to expect an offer, you don’t want to raise your expectations just to be disappointed. The lower the expectations, the happier you will be.
Keeping expectations low may be the key to happiness, say scientists. Researchers at University College London have created a formula to predict levels of happiness. They found that accumulating wealth didn’t make people happier, but the hope of acquiring more money raised happiness levels, especially if people didn’t expect to earn big.
According to research by motivational speaker and life coach Tony Robbins, “no expectations or disappointments” does not mean lowering our standards or accepting a life that is below what we deserve. It doesn’t mean giving up our goals for a happy, healthy relationship and a meaningful career. It doesn’t mean that we stop growing and learning new things.
This means that when we embrace the true meaning of “no expectations, no disappointments”, we begin to live fully in the present. Our lives are filled with acceptance, gratitude and love. We stop fighting things that are out of our control and focus our power on what we can control, such as our own state of mind, emotions, and actions. Learning to be happy without expectations is to realize that fulfillment comes from within. It is an awareness that will transform your life.
According to advisor Innocent Kabera, there’s actually nothing wrong with setting expectations, because that’s the way to aim higher and get bigger or richer. However, some expectations are unachievable.
For him, although expectations can motivate you and increase your productivity, going too far or being unrealistic can lead to serious consequences, for example, it can cause emotional distress such as anxiety and depression.
“For example; a job interview, you did your research well, you have the facts at your fingertips, but you failed to land the job, you may feel like a loser, which doesn’t “It’s not true. When people try a lot they are sure to be successful, if they don’t, they feel disappointed. In the end, it could lead to depression,” he says.
Kabera says that high expectations only breed dissatisfaction, once they don’t get what they expected, they remain sad. He recommends learning to let things go if they don’t go as planned, celebrating small wins, and most importantly, avoiding comparisons.